Building Trust Game

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Turns out that TRUST is important for relationships! It’s time to learn how to build it.

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Here’s the scenario. You are going to be together with someone with whom you have major differences in attitude and opinion. You can employ Tactics, Speaking, and Listening to deal with the situation. Some of them are more helpful than others. Which of the following will you do and why? And what ones do you find yourself doing even though you probably shouldn’t?

TACTICS 

  1. Avoid the person

  2. Avoid the conversation

  3. If THE subject comes up, Say nothing

  4. Say nothing to them and complain to everyone else

  5. Change the subject

  6. Hang out around them

  7. Express interest in them

  8. Learn something about them ahead of time and do some research so you can talk about it

  9. Calm yourself beforehand

  10. Let someone else know what you are doing so they can support you

SPEAKING

  1. Tell them they are wrong

  2. Explain why they are wrong

  3. Explain why they are wrong nicely

  4. Call them names

  5. Ask them, Do you REALLY believe that?

  6. Ask them, Why do you believe THAT?!?

  7. Ask them, HOW can you believe that?

  8. Explain to them the ramifications on the world of what they believe

  9. Ask them if they want to know what you think.

  10. Explain how you are trying to be open to them, and that they aren’t doing that for you

  11. Ask what brought them to believe what they do?

  12. Ask clarifying questions

  13. Reflect what you hear to confirm understanding

  14. If asked what you think, use “I” statements instead of “You” statements.

LISTENING 

  1. Listen for the weakness in their argument

  2. Roll your eyes often

  3. Interrupt

  4. Listen for a pause… so you can get your point in

  5. Listen to understand

  6. Listen for the person behind the words