Right Where You Need to Be
/“(Everything I think I know is just static on the radio) Static on the radio
(Ain’t praying for miracles, I’m just down on my knees) Static on the radio
(Listening for the song behind everything I think I know) Static on the radio
(Everything I think I know is just static on the radio) ”
Everything I think I know is just static on the radio….
Between the pandemic and the murder of George Floyd by Minneapolis police - much of what I thought I knew is being exposed as static. As a white person I grew up thinking the police were helpers I could trust. My experiences aligned with that. When I got sick I was listened to and got the care I needed. My parents were able to buy property in a neighborhood where I had freedom to roam with little, if any, sense of fear.
This is a time of major reconfiguring and re-ordering. Change on this scale, no matter how good or needed, is full of uncertainty. If you, like me, feel at a loss and unsure of how to respond or be in the world right now in a way that feels “right” or “helpful” you are not alone. You need to respond anyway.
White friends. If you are worried about messing up, you should be. And you will. I will. We need to try our very best to mess up with each other rather than causing further harm or adding burden to our non-white neighbors to tell us what to do or that we are okay. We are worthy of love no matter what. But frankly, we’re not okay and the sooner we realize this the sooner we can start the journey toward truly being okay in a way that allows everyone to be okay! And that is the only way we can truly be okay ourselves.
In the Fabric podcast message this week the voices come together to remind us that our responses to this time of big change are so much more than one-size-fits all or finding the right thing to read or the right form of action. Rather than thinking we will have “a response” - we realize it will be a rhythm of responding for the long haul: pause, act, learn, repeat. Angie O-Leary shared her own recent example with us that highlights many of these tensions and more. We are all living this! You have your own versions and your own tensions. Stay with them.
And learn to stay with the static. When everything you think you know just seems like static, you are probably right where you need to be. It is here when you are open to tuning in and hearing new music from new places. It is here that your certainty falls away and makes a way for your convictions.
For me this sometimes sounds like this: “I have to do and say the right thing” is heard for the static that it is. I begin to hear “my worth and dignity does not depend on doing, being or looking right. Neither should anyone else’s - George Floyd, my black neighbors, my kids, that family member I’ve been avoiding this week.” From there I can find one next step and the courage to take it.
Pause… Act. Learn. Repeat.
Fabric is here to help you tune into that deeper down music, take a next step, learn and repeat. Engage and connect with others around these conversations. Reconnect or connect with a group.
Thanks to so many of you for sharing your learnings, wrestlings and questions out there. Special thanks to Angie O’Leary for sharing her real experience and unfinished learning. What about yours? Challenge yourself to make this week’s homework practice part of your rhythm this week: Write about how you have experienced this rhythm - or even parts of it this week: pause, act, learn, repeat. Listen to someone else’s story about their experience of it. Share yours.
