The You You Are

Welcome to this conversation

To Get to the Other Side, Episode 6 (August 2, 2020): The You You Are Imperfect, uncertain, mistaken…  you are still the person who needs to show up right now to help us To Get to The Other Side. Greg Meyer taps the wisdom of America Ferraro, Mita Mosby Tyler, and a younger brother to understand why The You You Are is the right person at the right time despite what you might believe about yourself or others, and to explore a couple ways it might happen. Feeling unprepared, overwhelmed, inadequate, maybe even guilty? Join the human race. This is a message for you.

Key Takeaways & Homework Practice

From Greg Meyer’s introduction: Something I’ve experienced through [the pandemic and social unrest after George Floyd’s killing] is just how unprepared I am for this moment in time. Chances are you don’t feel particularly ready, capable, knowledgeable, maybe even worthy either. And I’m right and so are you – we aren’t.

The truth is you are ready. Not because you are flawless, insightful, and guiltless, but because no one is. This journey is about finding your way, not pretending you have it all figured out and have arrived. The you that is needed at a time like this isn’t the new and improved you – not that I have anything against a new and improved version of any of us – but The You You Are right now.

Three different voices help us understand why and how The You You Are right now can be and should be recognized, respected and put to work.

VOICE #1: Jesus’ story about of a Younger Son (often called the Parable of the Prodigal Son, or of The Loving Father) Luke 15.1-3,11-32

The son in Jesus’ story who came crawling back home was absolutely correct that he deserved NOTHING. The father, however, only saw a son, not a failed person. In fact, he saw his child, whom he loved because he loved him because he loved him. That’s all.

That’s you. That’s me. It isn’t a statement of how good, innocent, smart, informed, “woke”, correct, mistake proof you may be, it is a statement about The You You Are.

VOICE #2: America Ferrara, TED2019 – My identity is a superpower, not an obstacle LINK

Ferrera had two important, interconnected realizations about the person she is, and the you you are:

• She had always been trying to fit into societal norms, never expecting to belong there. They are very different. They say different things about who we see ourselves to be.

•  She could not expect the system to change what it believed about her if she believed the same thing about herself.

“I am just one of millions of people who have been told that in order to fulfill my dreams, in order to contribute my talents to the world I have to resist the truth of who I am. I for one, am ready to stop resisting and to start existing as my full and authentic self.”

VOICE #3: Nita Mosby Tyler, TED|MileHigh - Want a more just world? Be an unlikely ally LINK

Tyler felt the sting of racisms rejection, but already as a young person she learned to direct it away from what didn’t need to change (herself) and from what she couldn’t change (people with bad intentions). Instead she directed her attention and interest on those who could do something.

“…as I got older, I started to get angry. And not just angry at the outright racism and injustice. I was angry at people that stood by and didn't say anything.”

Do you discount your ability to stand up and speak up for needed change in the world because you aren’t knowledgeable, important, prepared enough? Or because you are not a stakeholder?

“Unlikely Allies” is a concept she learned from her fifth-grade teacher. The “unlikely” part speaks to “The You You Are.” An unlikely ally isn’t the strategically placed expert but the person who simply recognizes  our shared humanity and stands up and speaks up.

“…justice requires an accomplice. Not just anyone will do. She said we need unlikely allies if we want to see real change happen. And for those of us experiencing injustice up front, we need to be willing to accept the help, because when we don't, change takes too long.” 

From the closing:

“I’m hoping the Me I Am will grow and have less flaws and gaps and imperfections in the future, but I can’t wait until then. And I’m sure you hope The You You Are will grow and shed some flaws, gaps and imperfections as well, but we can’t afford to wait for that either.

“You, the unlikely ally, the too this, too that, not enough of the other thing to ever be accepted by the mainstream. Own it. Be it. Put it to work. Show up and speak up with it.”

Homework Practice:

Make a list of all your qualifications AND your inadequacies for helping us get to the other side of this pandemic, the racial unrest, and all the precipitating consequences that spring from them.

Sit with that list. Don’t judge it and don’t judge yourself. Own it and decide to show up for a better world because and despite all that is on that list.

Share your resolve with someone else.