DFtA - Episode 3

Welcome to this conversation

Don’t Feed the Animals, Episode 3: Hatred You are probably among the majority of people who don’t think they hate anyone or anything. Sure, you use the word once in a while, but you don’t really mean “hate,” you just don’t really like them or it. Maybe so, but hatred is a sneaky critter that knows how to put on nice clothes and say the right things so it can grow undercover. Needless to say, it isn’t a good bedfellow with love. It might be good to take a look inside to see what may be crowding love out of your heart.

How you are feeling is important because in stressful times like we are right now we need to be able to bring our best. To do that we need to calm the animals - the feelings, reactions, inclinations - inside that easily come to center stage when we are stressed.

The animal we are dealing with today is Hatred.

Hatred = an extreme dislike, disdain or disgust.

To have ill-will toward something or someone.

To wish that whatever you hate didn’t exist because it has only negative value for you. 

To hate something or someone is to wish they were dead.

Hatred is perceived as socially unacceptable so we pretend we don’t do it. Like Hagrid, in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, who called his 3-headed monstrous dog “Fluffy,” we give our hatred other names to make it more palatable. Like dislike, or not-my-preference, or I’ve-got-a-bone-to-pick-with-that. But that doesn’t make them harmless.

Jesus tried to wake us up to the power of this animal, hatred, within us with some short, pithy sayings. Try these out.

"You have heard it said, 'You shall not murder'; and 'whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.' But I am telling you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, or insult them, you will be liable to judgment.”        Matthew 5.21-22

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5.43-45

Consider this statement and how it may be true in your experience: Denying the presence of these animals doesn’t make them go away, it empowers them.

Racism is a form of hatred. 

Just as we are called to not only not hate our enemies, nor to merely not dislike our neighbors, we are, in fact, called to actually love them.

Likewise, we are not only called to not be racist to those we don’t know or understand, nor to merely be non-racist, but to actually be anti-racist.

Political and cultural polarization is also a form of hatred. 

The election has intensified our disagreements and our division, and it can be only a small step from fueling our disagreements with one another to feeding the hatred within ourselves.

Consider this statement and how it may be true in your experience: When the animal of hatred gets too big within us it can be hard to tell the difference between not liking someone’s ideas and not liking the person.

A PRACTICE to help you deal with this animal.

1. Acknowledge that there is Hatred within you. Do it without judgement. Name the places it is most likely to appear.

2. Listen for Hatred in its smallest forms waking up, stretching its arms and whispering in your ear. Use conscious breathing to quiet your mind and listen to the feeling within you without taking its advice.

3. Choose what you will do with the information these feelings fill you with. Choose to better understand. Choose to ask a better question than whether you like the idea, the thing, the person that you are troubled by. Choose to love.

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